"not like other girls"
youtuber arden rose recently made a video, explaining why she never had female friends.
as i was watching this, i could totally relate to her in a way, and i remembered the time in my life when i started hanging out with boys, more often than i did with girls.
now, this thing only lasted for a small period of time but i think i was in 4th grade, and i used to think that having friends who were boys was less drama, and every girl in my school would bully me and talk behind my back. (because most of them really did)
this is really embarrassing but i was in a group of guy friends and we bonded by talking about how annoying the other girls were and i related to [those guy friends] because they liked skrillex. yep.
i did not realize that i was a crappy person who was hating on my own gender.
good thing it was all a phase and i was just trying to be "cool".
another one of my favorite youtubers, savannah brown responded to arden's video- and this brings me back to the more recent years (2013-14 to be exact) where in i act like a pretentious hipster.
ha ha, yes, you read that right, i had a phase when i felt like i was way better than other girls, and the reasons were because:
1) i hated pop music and listened to "indie bands"
2) i didn't like the color pink as much as other girls did
3) i preferred disney villains instead of princesses
4) i absolutely hated the movie frozen because it was too mainstream. i really did.
i was acting like this because i did not want to be like other girls.
meaning that i did not want to people to think of me as the typical girl who only likes make up, the color pink, social media, boys and mean girls quotes.
but you know what, i do like make up, pink, social media, boys and mean girls quotes.
so what's so wrong with being a "typical" girl?
i think another reason i did not want to be like the "typical girl" because i also did not want to be associated with being weak and boring- and i wanted to be badass by liking things that typical girls didn't.
but the main reason why i didn't want to be stereotyped was because i wanted people to know me, respect me and appreciate me as the person that i really was, not just another girl.
and that was the wrong thing to do.
i did feel different and unique, and that was a good thing, but i didn't realize that it was internalized misogyny and i was pulling my whole gender down by having these condemning thoughts. even if it was all in my head. but hey, don't worry, i'm so over it.
as savannah said:
"we can't get angry at girls who think like that because they're only thinking that way because they've seen how other girls get treated and stereotyped and dehumanized. they've seen how other girls are called bitches, or annoying, or seen as inferior, and they're just trying to get you to treat them like a human being."
so why do us females have to fit into a certain stereotype?
because that's how most people, (especially cisgendered men) think.
they believe that majority of women have to be more feminine and ladylike. it's like, when you're a woman you shouldn't laugh too loud, you shouldn't be into sports and video games, you shouldn't dress up to revealingly so you wouldn't get called a slut (but you shouldn't cover up too much as well because people would call you a prude), you should not be too smart or too successful because that's too emasculating, you shouldn't have tattoos or short haircuts because people will immediately assume that you're a lesbian (and apparently, that's wrong).
and why do boys have to fit into a certain stereotype as well??
again, that's how most people think.
when you're a guy you gotta act like a man -you should be masculine and tough because that means you're being a pussy and acting like a weak little girl. you're not allowed to cry and love artsy things and act too feminine or you will be labeled as gay (because yeah, being gay is a bad thing, right??)
and honestly, i am so tired of all this crap. people have so many high expectations for our genders, that if you're a girl you should be this and if you're a boy should be that.
(connor franta also made a video on this topic)
LISTEN. to everyone who stereotypes human beings into unrealistic categories:
first of all, nobody's perfect. and life should not always be like our favorite cheesy teen films.
say it with me:
some girls like sports. some girls like make up.
some boys like sports. some boys like make up.
some girls like pop music, some girls like rock music.
some boys like pop music, some boys like rock music.
some girls like one direction, some girls like the 1975.
some boys like ariana grande, some boys like halsey.
some girls want to be professional race car drivers, some boys want to be fashion designers.
some girls actually enjoy video games (gasp!) and some boys love barbie dolls.
not every girl wants to be the damsel in distress who is saved by her prince.
not every boy wants to excel in every sport in human history.
and it's totally fine. it's great to like and dislike things.
there is nothing wrong with being a feminine girl, a masculine girl, a feminine boy, a masculine boy,
or anything in between, because yes,
deal with it.
oh and please keep this in mind- if a man is gay, this does not immediately mean that he wants to be a woman. and if a woman is a lesbian, this does not immediately mean she wants to be a man. preference & gender identity are two different things.
you can't force everyone into certain stereotypes, because we all are human beings that have our own personalities, emotions, likes, dislikes, beliefs, goals and ambitions in life.
we have to make a change, we should stop perpetuating the the typical girl and typical boy stereotype.
i'm glad that there are people in my generation who are somehow socially aware, but there is so much more to learn.