let it go

art by elliana esquivel

here's something really cheesy that i wrote before the end of 2015:

there are no perfect years. every year of my life,

i experience: sad memories, happy memories, bad memories, good memories, embarrassing memories that will last forever, and wonderful, wonderful memories that will last forever.

each year i would say "wow. this has been the best year of my life!"

but frankly, those words weren't true at all.
2011-2014 feels like yesterday. there were such great memories, but they weren't the best.

i'm not saying that the memories i made throughout those years were bad, there were just some things that made me sad for a while.

i am the type of person who gets really emotional when i remember something like childhood memories or old friends.

i've always thought that that side of me was bad, and i should probably stop crying about my old friendships.

but this was the year i learned that:

i am a human being and my emotions are valid therefore it is okay to cry.
it's okay to be sentimental. 
it's okay to think about your old friends. 
it's okay to miss them- no matter how toxic they could have been to your life.
it's okay to think that maybe, someday, you and your old friends will finally see each other again. make up. put things back to the way it used to be.
if ever you actually do see your old friends- it is more than okay to smile at them because they will smile back at you.

but this was also the year i realized that everything happens for a reason.

if i get the question: "if you would like to turn back time and change something from the past- what would it be & why?" - i would answer "nothing at all." because all those bad memories are what made me who i am today. those bad memories are what make us a stronger person. (well, okay, there are a lot of embarrassing things that i regret and want to change but that doesn't count!!!)

whether you like it or not- something unexpected will happen in your life.

it could be something like switching schools, moving to a different home, losing a competition that you and everyone around you worked hard for- something that you would never even expect to happen.

it may seem really sad/scary at first, but then you will realize that it might even lead to something better- or it could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

not everything will go the way as planned and not all our plans will work out. this may sound utterly cheesy, but God probably has a better plan for us.

in the end, everything will be okay.

i know it will.


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