end girl hate!!! (pls)

hi friends. i apologize for i haven't done anything for the feminist movement in quite a long time... but something infuriating inspired me to write about something that could be much important than you think.  (by the way, taglish 'tong blog post ko ngayon.)



even when you lied  i ignored each and every flaw in your system and you continued to be a source of my happiness

but then i remembered–  i don't go out in the sun because it's bad for me
how pathetic i was so scared to lose you that i lost myself instead
and i failed to remember– even if you brought me so much joy  you brought out the worst in me

i broke the hearts
of the people who love me the most
just because
i loved you
too easily

when the sun goes down  is when it becomes worse
i ask myself
was it worth it at all?
it hit me what if you weren't actually my sunshine? and  you were the moon all along?
like what juliet said: don't swear by the moon.  the moon is always changing.

i would be lying
if i said i wouldn't miss you
and it frustrates me that
i will never know
 if you felt the same way

 if you cared about me
as much as i cared about you
and if you loved me
as deeply as i loved you
you should've let me know
words are just words

now i…

everything stays

i came to a realization that the person i was two years ago  is very different from the person i am today.


bittersweet fifteen. i finally feel like it.

to my eighteen year old self

dear eighteen year old ataska,

"not like other girls"

a tale on how gender stereotypes ruin the world.

let it go

here's something really cheesy that i wrote before the end of 2015:

there are no perfect years. every year of my life,
i experience: sad memories, happy memories, bad memories, good memories, embarrassing memories that will last forever, and wonderful, wonderful memories that will last forever.

each year i would say "wow. this has been the best year of my life!"
but frankly, those words weren't true at all. 2011-2014 feels like yesterday. there were such great memories, but they weren't the best.

i'm not saying that the memories i made throughout those years were bad, there were just some things that made me sad for a while.

i am the type of person who gets really emotional when i remember something like childhood memories or old friends.
i've always thought that that side of me was bad, and i should probably stop crying about my old friendships.

but this was the year i learned that:
i am a human being and my emotions are valid therefore it is okay to cry. it'…